Astro Shite Christmas 2013 Special

Aries
You’ll have truckloads of sexual energy to carry you through the holiday season when Mars enters your love zone on 8 December. Engaging in unconscious sex is an Aries trait, so be mindful of your partner’s feelings during horizontal line dancing, unless you’re shagging your favourite tomato – you! You’re compelled to argue with Aunt Agnes over a dodgy batch of mince pies on Christmas day. Avoid the tendency to jump into squabbles without first appreciating the effort that goes into making festive puddings from scratch, douche bag.
Aries Yuletide gift: tattoo gun kit

Taurus
The coming holiday period sparks your passion for overseas adventure. With Venus retrograding in your travel sector from 22 December, you’ll spend the end of the month dreaming of exotic squeezes called Katut, and make detailed travel arrangements to coalesce in a foreign land that’s a long way from Wiley Park. Be wary of a propensity to be distressed by your Christmas presents this year, as disappointment can keep you from enjoying those elasticised Happy Socks.
Taurus Yuletide gift: mounted sand scoop and spreader

Gemini
The Gemini Full Moon on 16 December arouses your inclination for gossip, which has you blacklisted from attending the cool parties grunting on the scene at the moment. Damn. This Christmas, the Universe reminds you that hearsay needs to be balanced with fact, knowledge balanced with belief, and tuna balanced with mayo. The eclipse signals a change of job, residency, or underwear for many Twins. Oooooooh, spooky …
Gemini Yuletide gift: Boggle

Cancer
The Venus retrograde motion in your love zone from 22 December has you re-evaluating your existing romantic relationship. Mercury’s Christmas day transit asks whether you can endure another year with that dipshit whose aftershave expenditure exceeds third world debt. If you answer ‘Eight is Enough’ then the winged messenger will give you the strength to voice what isn’t working in your life; a necessary first step in telling the tosser to f@#k off and find a personality.
Cancer Yuletide gift: House In A Box

Leo
Favourable links from Mercury to your Sun between 6 and 24 December increases your confidence in planning a swell Christmas shindig at your cubicle this year. The Lion loves an audience, and this transit ensures that you’ll be the star attraction while elbow deep in turkey stuffing and cranberry sauce. Expect to receive expensive gifts from diehard fans, but avoid caving in to external pressure between 24 and 27 December, when you feel obligated to catch up with annoying relatives like Uncle Fester and Cousin Itt. What killjoys.
Leo Yuletide gift: Revlon’s Love That Red lipstick

Virgo
Your creative peak will hit on 30 December, thanks to an intense Pluto transit. Any DIY output during this time will have a concentrated edge; a touch too much for the festive season it seems. Allow yourself plenty of free time and space over the holiday period to surrender completely to creative expression. Be strong and avoid the David Jones post-Christmas sales in favour of developing your higher self.
Virgo Yuletide gift: Officeworks gift voucher

Libra
Reflect on a certain issue before taking action when Mars moves into your sign on 8 December. Decisiveness may not be your strong point now, but eventually you’ll ask Santa to send you a pair of Manolo Blahnik open toe booties rather than Louboutin pumps. Nice choice. With Venus embarking on a retrograde motion in your domestic sector from 22 December, this is the season for procrastination, which I hear makes your palms go hairy. Or blind. Or something.
Libra Yuletide gift: Moroccan Boucherouite rug

Scorpio
You’ll be a popular dude this Christmas, thanks to the New Moon’s influence in your money zone on 3 December. This is a rare opportunity to enjoy a new type of financial freedom, so take a break from your usual tight-arse behaviour and splurge on loved ones for a change. An annoying seventh house node demands that you put yourself in your neighbour’s shoes and nick off with them. You just can’t find woven espadrilles of that quality in this town, mate.
Scorpio Yuletide gift: butt plug

Sagittarius
The New Moon in your sign on 3 December highlights adventure in a swashbuckling Long John Silver kinda way. If the routine of life is deadening to the point of oblivion, this lunation inspires action. Any activity that recharges your spirit, like jumping out of fast moving vehicles into peak-hour traffic, is ideal now. Lightning bolt Uranus brings second chances for events that failed to manifest in early August. You look at the big picture between 6 and 24 December and realise that your ideas are like Broken Hill – heaving with holes.
Sagittarius Yuletide gift: flying trapeze workshop

Capricorn
Mercury enters your sign on Christmas day. This puts you in a positive frame of mind so that you can enjoy a traditional Christmas with loved ones without the usual cardio arrests. Venus moves backwards from 22 December, compelling you to overhaul your tired image of beige pants/beige cardi/beige personality, and celebrate an electrifying new look of taffeta balloon pants teemed with a Glomesh batwing top. You are mistaken for a Christmas tree, which makes a refreshing change from being mistaken for Paul Keating.
Capricorn Yuletide gift: stocks and shares

Aquarius
Celebrations are well underway for the Water Bearer this month. Unleash the inner-party animal under the New Moon on 3 December. Let the world know that you mean business by guzzling a crate of Pilsner (or ten) while slam dancing to Slipknot. Despite the agonising displays of physical gratification, a spiritual reassessment is your gift from the Gods this Christmas. I know; it isn’t as much fun as receiving a barbeque apron with fake tits, but the Ancient Wisdoms can help reveal your authentic self for what it’s worth.
Aquarius Yuletide gift: LEGO Batman headlamp

Pisces
The period December 2013/January 2014 is a perfect time to close unfinished business between you and a significant other. As 2013 ends, you’ll review your social and community obligations. Ensure that your precious time and energy are poured into the activities that matter to you. And have a Merry Christmas!
Pisces Yuletide gift: magic mushrooms

Astro Shite for November 2013

Aries
Expect unrestrained financial issues to stabilise around 18 November. Your outer life will improve as a result, so you’ll lose that just-got-out-of-bed-look without enduring a Channel Nine reality makeover. An opportunity to progress in your career comes courtesy of a Venus-Pluto power coupling in Capricorn. Chasing The Money is the blood sport of choice for many Rams this month. It beats Candy Crush, I guess.
Aries essential viewing: Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Taurus
The Full Moon in your sign on 17 November supports your inner transformation; a necessary process for the earthy Bull. Focus on the balance between body and spirit in order to gain understanding of how the two work together. Venus and Pluto entangle in a love tryst to rival Harold and Maude between 15 and 17 November. Expect to arouse penetrating feelings in others with embarrassing but sexy maneuvers. What a player! You’ll be crowing about your pulling power from 9 November under the Mercury direct motion. The last two months of 2013 are ideal times to go away, so go away.
Taurus essential viewing: Who’s Killing the Great Chefs of Europe (1978) 

Gemini
The Sun adds glamour and drama to your personal relationships from 22 November. You’ll be open to compromises without sacrificing your stylish persona. Expect to receive serious romantic attention under this transit, so make the most of the seasonal social calendar and cast your courting net. Sort out the details of your daily existence when Mercury moves forward from 9 November. Like a textbook Gemini, creating ‘to-do’ lists will be at the top of your ‘to-do’ list.
Gemini essential viewing: The Usual Suspects (1995)

Cancer
Jupiter, the planet currently occupying your constellation, retrogrades from 6 November. Activities that have flourished since June will pause until March 2014. Take time to review how certain areas of your life have developed and plan where you want to go from here. Venus enters your love zone on 6 November. Be prepared for a new phase of romance by threading your nasal hairs. A powerful eclipse hits your creativity zone on 3 November, marking a period of inspiration, illumination, revelation, stimulation, radiation …
Cancer essential viewing: Five Easy Pieces (1970)

Leo
The Sun-Saturn link between 6 and 8 November represents a reality check that helps you focus on practical issues. Be firm about Limits; will these diet biscuits really melt away the fat from your thighs? Those closest to you may need to rely on your strength, so bulk up with protein shakes and steroids. You’ll be in a playful mood when Venus enters your creativity sector on 5 November. Empower those younger and more gullible than yourself through the force of DIY, especially around 22 November, when your creative expression soars like the furious re-zoning of the inner city.
Leo essential viewing: King of Comedy (1983)

Virgo
Take charge of those irritating housemates from 22 November under the influence of the bold, gold Sun. You’ll roar like a lion at the sight of a smeared toilet bowl, and decide to make your mark on domestic life with a stock whip. The demands of household despotism take its toll between 15 and 17 November, when you decide to chillax with a Porch Crawler or two, and experience the world through not-so-serious eyes.
Virgo essential viewing: The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit (1956)

Libra
The extended Venus cycle, which begins on 6 November, has you delving into your past like a scene from It’s A Wonderful Life without the exasperating angel-half-person living in your head. You get a better understanding of how your upbringing has shaped you into the self-interested Wannabe you are today. Contender, be proud. Any possibility of a pay rise diminishes under the Jupiter retrograde motion of 6 November. You’ll have to go without your regular intake of Chateau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion and Barclay Prime until the cycle goes direct in March 2014. Life is hard.
Libra essential viewing: Prêt-a-Porter (1994)

Scorpio
You get to the heart of a certain matter when Mercury moves forward in your sign from 9 November. Expect metaphorical light bulbs to illuminate under the Solar Eclipse of 3 November. Finally, you’re capable of original thinking. A sudden release of material from the unconscious proves to be fine fodder for your next zine project. The North Node-New Moon link represents a turning point between your past and future. Focus on what moves you forward, that is, that rusted lemon you call a car.
Scorpio essential viewing: Cruising (1980)

Sagittarius
Venus begins an extended visit to your financial sector on 6 November, a cycle that will continue in 2014. The influence of sensible Capricorn means taking calculated risks with money - foreign behaviour for spendthrift Sagittarius. From 9 November, you communicate with others through the use of acronyms and emoticons :-). Ideas need to be presented visually or emotionally under the current Mercury transit in order for you to understand WTF is going on around you :- P.
Sagittarius essential viewing: The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

Capricorn
Venus enters your sign on 6 November. You’ll reflect back on the period 2005 to early 2006 for any unfinished business that still bothers you. Reconnect with unfulfilled dreams from that time and re-commit to them as part of a new eight-year cycle. Between 22 November and 25 December, the Sun and Mercury combine to accentuate your spiritual side. Do everyone a favour and be silent for a change.
Capricorn essential viewing: Wall Street (1987)

Aquarius
A potent eclipse on 3 November brings new ideas via New Idea to your zine-making ventures. This is a powerful time of beginnings in relation to your true calling. The Universe throws you a second chance at missed opportunities after 9 November, so be prepared to jump on the short bus when it comes your way. Venus leaves your social sector on 6 November, which is a bummer considering the number of party invitations groaning on Facebook this time of year.
Aquarius essential viewing: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Pisces
Your gypsy spirit will rise to the surface from 3 November, compelling you to grow facial hair and don silver-hooped earrings. Travel plans are best organised after 9 November when Mercury goes direct, and you develop the capacity for reading maps without downloading an app. Amazing! A new social cycle begins on 6 November, thanks to gregarious Venus. Avoid freeloaders disguised as friends. ‘Boundaries’ may not be a Piscean theme, but make them one.
Pisces essential viewing: Jesus of Montréal (1989) 

Astro Shite for October 2013

Aries
The Full Moon on 19 October stresses the balance between self and others. Inequality in close relationships needs addressing and undressing under this cycle. The Mercury-Jupiter link indicates uplifting and honest conversations with a brazen and animated Air type who looks good in scarves and red lipstick. You’ll be stalking that fop in Fcuk, thanks to the loopy Venus-Uranus combo. Holiday romances are possible after 7 October, so pack a thong and a bong for that trip to Hong Kong.
Aries Goddess: Athena

Taurus
Mercury retrogrades through your relationship zone from 20 October. Take a cosmic step back from your lover, especially if they’ve ordered quince aioli for lunch, and give them breathing space and mouth wash. Act on your passions under the Mars transit from 16 October by hooking up with a skank who brings out the animal in you like a cheap aftershave commercial. Too hot or what?
Taurus Goddess: Aphrodite

Gemini
Your hips and lower back transform into penetrating erogenous zones when Venus occupies your house of romance from 8 October. Peeps can’t get enough of your lascivious love handles, so share the lovin’ around. Mars whips your home in order from 16 October with a turbo-charged hand vac that doubles as a motor scooter. Cool. You’ll be shooting the shit with some fully-sick hip hop dudes under the Lunar Eclipse of 19 October in a desperate attempt to score street cred. Stick to accounting.
Gemini Goddess: Saraswati

Cancer
The big lollapalooza concerning your domestic life this year is the Lunar Eclipse on 19 October. Observe how the private sphere influences the public domain and vice versa. Divide your time and energy equally by fixing healthy boundaries between work and home life. Embrace compartmentalisation. Contrary to commercial television, life isn’t a Yuppie vanity show. The reality for you, my Cancerian friend, is more Housos than Man Men. Cancer Goddess: Ceres

Leo
Mars boosts your money house from 16 October. Take charge of your finances by demanding a pay rise in an uncompromising Damages kinda way. Pursue new income streams by exploring opportunities along The Silk Road. Your actions will have a direct effect on your economic position, so expect to spend time in Long Bay. You act like a fruit on synthetic drugs when Venus visits your recreational zone on 7 October. Unwind from the daily grind by impersonating a police officer. Why should Chopper Read have all the fun?
Leo Goddess: Hera

Virgo
Virgos will be busy bees from 16 October under the industrious Mars transit. As you have a knack for handling a variety of tasks simultaneously, you’ll take on numerous DIY projects and accomplish them proficiently. Expect ebbs and flows in your social circle from 20 October under the Mercury retrograde motion. Communication difficulties are likely, so shift your schedule according to who better fits your agenda. Entrepreneurial ideas have the opportunity to germinate under the New Moon of 5 October, so expand your sources of income and show the world that you’re not a Born Loser (what a great zine, I thoroughly recommend it).
Virgo Goddess: Vesta

Libra
Sometimes all you need is love. The John Lennon New Moon on 5 October symbolises the need for relationships based on peace, harmony, and soaking Mung beans. Uranus opposes this transit, prompting you to break free from tired and useless traditions and explore what’s right for you. Review your bank account for cyber fraud and other catastrophes from 20 October. A close friend reveals their true colours when they wipe off that high performance line-smoothing foundation under the Eclipse of 19 October. Gross. Mars activates your spirituality sector from 16 October. Avoid self-criticism; that’s Virgo’s job.
Libra Goddess: Themis

Scorpio
Mercury retrogrades in your sign from 20 October. Listen to the subtle messages from deep within your gut generated by last night’s meal consisting of green curry, a crate of Belgian beer, a block of Gouda, and a box of Choo-Choo bars. OMG! Get your fat arse moving on that sorry zine by 16 October if you want to avoid artistic obscurity. You’ll be in a gregarious and laidback mood now that the year is winding down. Put on your cape and go batman all the way to Christmas.
Scorpio Goddess: Durga

Sagittarius
With Venus occupying your sign from 8 October, you’ll be hankering to expand your range of experience through a significant other. Sombre nine-to-five types bore you now. Who cares about negative gearing and the price of eggs when there’s a world out there waiting to be explored with someone hot and willing? Mercury animates your mystery zone from 20 October. You ask life’s big questions: Who am I? What is my purpose? Do I have spinach on my teeth? Deep. The Lunar Eclipse of 19 October demands that you express yourself authentically. Emotions peak under this transit. Accept them as cues from your inner self to create more and dawdle less.  
Sagittarius Goddess: Epona

Capricorn
Lifetime learning, teaching, or writing ambitions need attention under the Mars transit of 16 October. If you have supressed these passions, now is the time to act on them. Keep your promises to your mates on 7 and 29 October when Mercury aligns with Saturn. Deepen your spiritual side through daily ritual practises from 7 October: zine-making in bed (horizontal); typewriting while standing in your bathroom (vertical); and note taking during painful episodes of The Bachelor (tilted).
Capricorn Goddess: Diana

Aquarius
Mercury retrogrades through your career zone from 20 October. Review how f^%*@d your job is, and make plans to progress to something less s@#t. You’re unlikely to see the truth about financial dealings between 18 and 21 October, when a convict in a bomber jacket spikes your Martini and pilfers your watch collection. Despite the tribulations, you’re more diplomatic than usual, thanks the Venus cycle on 7 October. Remaining slightly detached from the dramas of the month will keep you sane to say the least.
Aquarius Goddess: Lakshmi

Pisces
Mars in your relationship sector from 16 October demands that you take charge and make things happen on a romantic level. From 7 October, Venus offers you the opportunity to spit and polish your talents before promoting them to the world. The Eclipse across your money axis on 19 October helps rebalance income and expenses.  Review DIY projects under the Mercury retrograde from 20 October. Must you create that zine on performance air filters and intercoolers? Really?
Pisces Goddess: Mary

Nasty Astrology

Astro-freaks and novices alike have enjoyed this amusing book by astrologer Richard MacDonald for nearly a decade. There are similar titles on the market, but Nasty Astrology is my favourite funny guide to the dark side of Sun sign astrology. War and Peace it ain't, but it is sardonic, direct, and deliciously punishing. For better or worse, Nasty Astrology colours the style and tone with which I write Astro Shite each month.

Snippets from Nasty Astrology:

Aries
If you catch them unawares in the bathroom, they'll be acting out speeches or practising being interviewed on chat shows ... they are vain and big-headed ... they think they look slimmer than they are ...

Taurus
Taureans are immune to subtlety so you will have to spell it out to them in simple words: 'You are repugnant' ... they think they're good in the country but the suburbs is the place for them ... they steal pens ... 

Gemini
You can't shut them up or turn them off or turn them down ... they suffer a permanent persecution complex ... they deserve to be persecuted ...

Cancer
They will get fat no matter what they eat ... they are unstable, bordering slightly on barking mad ... scary mad ... think bunnies in boiling water, think a knife across your throat while you're sleeping ...

Leo
They are so full of themselves that others are taken in ... they like to run the show, but they lack any skills to do it ... they wear too much make-up ...

Virgo
They have too many dictionaries and reference books ... they should try reading a few of them ... their need for cleanliness and order is an obsession, and they should consider therapy ... no one needs to wash their hands as much as they do ...

Libra
Drifting through life without ever having a proper job and somehow surviving ... if wall paper had opinions then Libra would steal them ... they end up being mothered or murdered ...

Scorpio
They like offending people and have no social graces ... they may end up being assassinated ... they have lots of really powerful emotions - they are all feelings of murder ...

Sagittarius
Sagittarians have no real talent or skills and survive purely on gut instinct and luck ... they think snowboarding and juggling are subjects for worthy conversation ... although they do a nice line in pretend philosophy ...

Capricorn
They like to make money, make some more money, and finally make a bit more just in case ... they have all the passion of two people watching tv ... they like slippers ... 

Aquarius
Aquarians make good Zen monks as they already march to the sound of one hand clapping ... they don't tick like us - if we tick, they tock ... they hate cuddly toys ...

Pisces
Pisceans follow anything to do with the New Age but have no real interest - it's all just an excuse to seduce people and get them to take their clothes off ... they don't do business, or jobs really ... they can't be trusted to own a bar of soap ...


Nasty Astrology by Richard MacDonald is published by Collins & Brown Limited

Astro Shite for September 2013

Aries
Mercury occupies your relationship zone between 10 and 29 September. You crave a docile Q&A audience to heed your self-righteous opinions, but are stuck arguing with your pet rock about the PNG Solution and carbon pricing (yawn). Career transformations are likely after 27 September. You want more control over how you spend your time, and consider pimping. The Sun joins Mercury on 2 September for the sexiest stretch you’ll experience this year. Finally, you get the opportunity to have Incredibly Hot Sex with Hideous People. I can smell the desperation from Five Dock.
Song for Aries: New Race by Radio Birdman

Taurus
The Venus-Saturn-North Node link between 18 and 20 September works like a Lazarus triple bypass on your flaccid Ego. You rise from the dead and leap into your future like a leprechaun on whiz. Be prepared to move away from the familiar to attain what is yours by divine right. Focus on sexting under the Mercury transit on 29 September to revive a stale relationship. You get the Facebook ‘thumbs up’ from your lover and eighty-three other perverts after posting a snapshot of yourself modelling cheese wire.
Song for Taurus: Sprawl II by Arcade Fire

Gemini
Mercury helps you relax with the aid of Mogadons and some vintage Leonard Cohen records between 9 and 29 September. Rest to maintain healthy energy levels; you’ll need some punch for the active times ahead. The Sun enters your house of fun on 23 September as a reminder to embrace leisureliness in this work-obsessed culture of ours. Others see you as a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker under the Venus transit between 16 and 19 September. You get your lovin’ on the run, which irritates your partner somewhat. Your technical ability and patience are tested between 25 and 27 September. Have you tried turning it off and on?
Song for Gemini: Second Language by Tactics

Cancer
Saturn supports Pluto in your love zone between 13 and 30 September, bringing stability to wobbly relationships. This energy asks that you quit fantasising about the Bondi Vet in a spray tan, and focus on the bond that you’re actually part of. You can translate your feelings clearly and readily, thanks to the Mercury transit from 20 September. Your personal charm is well received under the Venus-Sun cycle of 12 September, so expect extra nookie this month.
Song for Cancer: Going Back performed by Goldie

Leo
Under Mercury’s influence, strangers with brief cases and important corporate agendas will stream in and out of your abode like it’s Grand Central Terminal. Home-based businesses with a teaching slant should thrive this month, so get that zine workshop pumping from the kitchen table. Money dramas are resolved by 9 September when you devolve those complex financial papers to someone who understands them. Be grateful for the cosmic gift bestowed to you on 29 September. It’s designed to help you rethink the colour scheme in the second bedroom. Nasty.
Song for Leo: You’re A Wanker by TISM

Virgo
Go wild and unleash the inner-minimalist under the New Moon on 5 September. Virgo appreciates the beauty of clean lines, uncluttered spaces, and multi-purpose cleaning fluid.  This is the time to file, bin, burn, and donate junk to anyone who will have it, that is, Taurus. You may encounter resistance under the Mars-Saturn connection, but persist. Let the bastards know who’s boss. You leave a memorable imprint for others to enjoy on 9 September by pressing your cock into one of those Pin Point Impression moulds. Ouch! Creativity peaks between 13 and 30 September along with your schlong. Stop taking life so seriously; down time is more important than achievement, but don’t tell Tony Abbott that.
Song for Virgo: Sometimes (I Just Can’t Live With Anyone) by The Laughing Clowns

Libra
You’ll get your hair extension in knots over extremes of opinions in the first week of September when Mercury occupies your sign. Macaroon or Macaron? Zine or fanzine? Stencil or print? Luckily, your ability to think in abstract terms provides you with a good measure of objectivity. Yours is a subtle intelligence; you don’t want boring stuff like brainpower getting in the way of looking chic. Mercury influences your money house from 29 September until the end of the year. You reach new levels of financial organisation by guillotining your credit cards and moving to the Galapagos Islands.
Song for Libra: Why Can’t We Live Together by Timmy Thomas

Scorpio
The unusually long visit from Mercury in Scorpio on 20 September provides you with the curiosity to explore beneath the reptile exterior that protects you. Journal writing may be a traditional form of therapy, but it’s not as appealing as posting your fears and doubts on Facebook. The unexamined life is not worth living unless it’s captured in a Selfie. Mercury follows Venus into your spirituality zone between 9 and 29 September. Look at life from a different viewpoint to A Current Affair by indulging in the writings of Aleister Crowley, Gerald Gardner, and other degenerate old fruits.
Song for Scorpio: Pumping Ugly Muscle by Primitive Calculators

Sagittarius
Mercury helps expand your social network between 9 and 29 September. Communicating directly with your peers is crucial now. Get your arse away from virtual reality and soldier into the actual world without your avatar. Scary stuff. Your bloated sense of entitlement reaches bursting point around 22 September when you put your leadership skills to the test. Power trips may inflate your Ego, but it will end in tears when a water sign extinguishes your fire. Ha!
Song for Sagittarius: I Just Want To Sleep With Someone New by Paul Kelly

Capricorn
Your ruler, Saturn, turns the period 13 to 30 September into a cosmic flashpoint. Strip down to your Nike trainers and streak across the SCG during a major sporting event. Feel the exhilaration as thousands of sheep with Smartphones start snapping shots of your assets for Instagram. The Saturn-Pluto link makes you appreciate the true force of your willy as a weapon of mass ridicule. Financial differences lead to tension amongst friends between 8 and 10 September, when you deny that you owe Cyril and Bartholomew coin for those hotted-up hubcaps. Yeah, right.
Song for Capricorn: Little Boxes performed by Pete Seeger

Aquarius
Explore new ways to connect passionately with your lover under the Mars cycle this month. The period between 14 and 18 September has an experimental quality which the unorthodox Water Bearer will find stimulating. Random kinky encounters with anonymous peeps suits you, Sir. Insert that butt plug and be direct about your needs. Your curiosity about the world beyond your postcode increases under the Mercury transit between 9 and 29 September. Meaningful dialogue with well-dressed Europhiles has you yearning for life to imitate a Jean-Luc Godard film rather than the usual episode of Big Brother.
Song for Aquarius: I’m Not Like Everybody Else by The Kinks

Pisces
The Full Moon in Pisces on 19 September highlights dreams, visions, and the ethereal world. Look for subliminal messages that nudge you onto a certain path, but be wary of lusting after possibilities that blind you to reality. Links from Mercury and Venus to your Sun signal that relationship commitments must be respected. If a loved one isn’t honouring their responsibilities, call them on it. It’s a two way street, this love thang.
Song for Pisces: Tael Of A Saehors by Makers of the Dead Travel Fast