The much talked-about (by me) Cardinal Grand Cross peaks on 23 April. Your quest to take on and complete various projects fails, thanks to being pulled in four directions (and not in a sexual way, I might add). This transit teaches you that multi-tasking is severely over-rated. Do the unthinkable: choose one task and complete it. What?! The period between 5 April and 3 May is one of your most spiritual. Escape the daily grind by grinding fair trade coffee beans in the Byron Bay Hinterland while loosely draped in cheesecloth. Mercury enters Aries on 7 April, awkwardly coinciding with the Section 18C amendment. Say no more.
Aries superfoods: onions, tomatoes, chilli
Taurus
Mercury enters your sign on 23 April followed by the New Moon in Taurus on 28 April. These cycles set the scene for slow and steady movement. Savour the moments and be grateful for them. Revitalise a stagnant undertaking, like that failed two-minute noodle perm, under the Mercury-Jupiter-Pluto connection, and watch it spring to life. Expect unexpected down time around 2 April, as Uranus activates your house of retreat and lowers your blood pressure in one fell swoop.
Taurus superfoods: beans, peas, carrots
Gemini
Venus’
affirmative energy helps you shift old zine stock and provides inspiration to
create fresh DIY masterworks. You’ll be in a gregarious mood until 23 April.
Your social experiences get (even more) twisted and unpredictable between 2 and
14 April, crashing Instagram with your snapshots of alternative uses for dental
floss. Eeeek! You’ll have time to reflect on your dickhead actions at the end
of the month when you’re ostracized by the Gods to the house of prisons,
hospitals, and mental asylums out of embarrassment.Gemini superfoods: asparagus, sprouts, mushrooms
Cancer
The
Sun, Mercury, and Venus highlight work issues on 2 April. Your slippery boss may
have wet dreams of replacing you and the rest of the staff with androids while
he organises his trip to Tahiti, but fortunately, Venus steps in to steer you
in the direction of teaching, writing, and some healthy zine-making activity.
Yay! The New Moon in your social sector on 28 April gives you the green light
to expand your network by moving in creative circles.Cancer superfoods: fish, lettuce, parsley
Leo
Uranus
generates restlessness from 2 April, urging you to stowaway on a ferryboat to
see where it takes you: terminus #8 at Circular Quay, I presume. Experiment
with unconventional philosophies such as Compatibilism and Cannibalism, but
watch your cholesterol level. The Sun, Mercury, and Venus combine in your professional
zone to help you make your mark with that inevitable Leo stamp - lipstick.
Nobody can pucker a pout for success the way a Lion can.Leo superfoods: eggs, raisins, lentils
Virgo
Your
most romantic period begins on 5 April. You’ll radiate desirability in an
office administrator kinda way. Comprises are negotiated and others are content
to meet you halfway in the open-plan office behind the stationery cupboard. You
get an extra dose of lovin’ on 12 April when Neptune joins in. Fine wine, scented
candles, and that tin of Catholic biscuits reserved for the executive
department help set the scene for a special rendezvous. Late April is an excellent
time to broaden your world by activating the right side of the brain with wanky-arty
pursuits.Virgo superfoods: beetroot, figs, almonds
Libra
The Full Moon in your sign combined with the
Cardinal Grand Cross adds tension to a nagging issue. This is not the time to
sweep your dirty laundry under the carpet or to air the two birds in your bush.
In fact, this cycle asks that you avoid idioms altogether. They’re a dime among
the pigeons. The Moon and Mars fly the flag for peace, while Venus and Neptune provide
compassion. Ask what you can do to improve the planet without tapping a
tambourine with your hip. Look to fellow Librans - Ghandi and Simon Cowell - for
inspiration.
Libra superfoods: celery,
corn, spinach
Scorpio
Creativity
peaks for many Scorpions between 5 April and 3 May, thanks to the artistic
force that is Venus. You’ll be bursting with ideas for zine creation. Get
excited and share your passions with kindred spirits. This transit demands that
you quit your usual scheming and scamming and have some fun for a change. Oh, I
forgot; scheming and scamming is your idea of fun. Silly me!Scorpio superfoods: rhubarb, kale, liver
Sagittarius
Between
17 and 24 April, values surrounding money and how it’s distributed amongst
family will weigh heavily on your mind like Gina Reinhart on a ski lift. The
days of frozen TV dinners stuck to the kitchen ceiling are over now that Venus
is adding her personal touch to your seedy share house. Expect an interesting
twist to your love life between 2 and 14 April when you’re greeted by your
concubine with a Chinese burn. Despite the discomfort, you go about your
business with the zest of an orange. Avoid spray tans.Sagittarius superfoods: red cabbage, parsnips, oats
Capricorn
There
is change on the domestic front for the Goat between 2 and 14 April. You are
drawn to the Vortex hot spots of Sedona, Montserrat, and Rooty Hill RSL. The
New Moon on 28 April sparks a creative surge. Traditional art techniques are
resurrected as you ditch the Modbook Pro for a Goat Hair Mop 3/4. Relationships
will have an exaggerated but transformative quality between 17 and 24 April, thanks
to the Pluto-Jupiter tango and some seriously sexy Bomba rhythms.
Capricorn superfoods: cheese,
prunes, rye
Aquarius
‘Abundance’
is the keyword under the Venus transit between 5 April and 3 May. The hot action
money date is 12 April when you hit the local TAB and blow two weeks’ pay.
You’ll want to lounge around your abode more than usual under the New Moon of
28 April. Get you living space sorted by weeding, cleaning, and purifying it. You
may not believe it, but undertaking housework is an act of magic. Ask any witch.Aquarius superfoods: barley, apples, figs
Pisces
You’ll
be at home in your watery element when Venus and Neptune occupy Pisces from 5
April. Immerse yourself in the ocean and reconnect with your cosmic
environment. April is the month for self-care, so be gentle with yourself. Financial
matters are emphasised on 15 April. Cluey detective work unearths hidden
capital lodged inside your Converse Chuck Taylors. I love it when the Universe
solves those perplexing money mysteries.
Pisces superfoods: bilberries,
cucumbers, dates
